however, this is not intended
if i am given a chance, trust me, i will also wanted to avoid this
i don't enjoy being a light bulb
it makes me feel so extra
as if i am not supposed to live in this world
most of all
it makes me feel extremely forever alone
it happens because we hang out together for some birthday celebration events and fellowship moments
well...
i felt a little bit of admire and a little bit of emotional...sentimental...maybe...
this is because even as a outsider also i can feel the warmth from their relationship and how well my girl friends are treated
i am not trying to say i am very unfortunate
just that the way him and i get along is slightly difference from others
that's it,the end
nothing is bad
alright
honestly, they caused me to reflect a little bit on my relationship
why i said so?
i saw my friend prepare birthday event for his girl
but my case....hmmm...
i can't blame him because he is an engineering guy
he don't have many girl friends to tell him what girl likes and what girl thinks
in fact, i should be proud of him
because this prove that to him, girl's world is an unexplored planet
then, i saw my boy friends (not intimate kind of boyfriend) can patiently accompany their girls shopping without making any noise
at least i can't see dissatisfaction from their face
i was so amaze of that
they just don't get angry although they are bored to the max and tired of walking
best part is they even didn't make complain and ask us to stop
wow
i should give them a great round of applause
as in my case, situation mentioned above is less likely to happen
i know he don't like it and i respect him
so i don't force him to come along whenever i wanted to do shopping
in return he respect me too
he know i like to do shopping so he didn't refrain me from going as long as i make sure myself will be safe and go home early
win win situation
good enough
in short
this shows that he is special
he don't gives me any sweet talk
but he gives me honesty
he don't gives me romantic
but he gives me sincerity
what he shows me is the most genuine of himself
no doubt that he is good and i never have a thought of complain
but being human...
forgive me that sometimes i have the thought of admiring other people and how well they are treated by their partner
forgive me that i will wonder why he is not like others
forgive me that sometimes deep inside me i will ask why he didn't treated me that way
but it is just a temporary emotion
and i will get over it for i know that this is bad
i clearly know that what he gives me is all the best that he have
i shall ask no more
i apologize if this discontented thought of mine will ever hurt your feeling
you may looks like the most ordinary person
but believe me...
you are the most special in my eye sight
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