i'm no more than a piece of junk

i can see many are busy with their work currently

some are busy for assignment
some are busy for presentation
some are also busy for test and exam

they rush every minute their have
they treasure the time their left
time seems to be so invaluable for them

as for me
time is nothing
i sleep late as if its still early
i wake up late as if the sun not yet risen

i do think about my life sometimes
i wonder what makes me different from a pig
i only sleep and eat everyday
i guess i'm truly a pig by name and by nature

its not that i wanted this kind of life
i simply cant find any persuasive reason for me to have a normal and healthy lifestyle which means sleep early and wake up early
i have asked myself
what is the use of sleeping early if i do not have a reason to wake up early the next day?
what is the use of waking up early if i have nothing to do?

as i open my eyes every morning
i can feel the emptiness within me
there is nobody around
leaving me alone, laying on my bed

i don't like the cold in my room
i don't like facing the icy four walls
i also don't like to stare at my laptop, thinking what else i can do with it
so,i spend most of my time sleeping
although it doesn't works very well

i'm not saying this life is boring
its just meaningless
and i'm just wasting every moment i'm breathing
i lost my way
i can't find the purpose of moving on
i find no meaning of living

i receive many suggestion about what can i do during these free time that i have
i'm grateful with it
as least i know many are concerned about me
however, its not easy for me
my mom lay down some restriction
and i have my own fear
to be honest
i get very frustrated because i can't do anything to improve my current situation
i'm so ashamed of myself
i have nothing good
i'm no more than a piece of junk!!!